3 Things That I Want To Tell To My Former-Self
If I can call my child-self
If there is any time machine that exists in this world, what would you do with it? Are you willing to go to the future and see what will happen to you over the next couple of years? Or will you choose to come back to the past so you can alert yourself for not making a mistake that impacts your present life?
Interestingly, I found from the specific forums that they have more interest to travel to the future. But for me, sometimes traveling to the future can be a daunting activity. It may expose you to any shocking phenomenon that you never think or experience before. The one thing that really scares me is there is a coincidence potential that you know your expiration time by doing this.
That being said, I kind of like to travel to the past. Not only for nostalgia but also able to get a whole understanding of what you’ve done in past and how it gives an impact on your future. Or maybe to have some clarity about our past perception.
There is a lot of movies that involve traveling to the past. Let’s go with the example of X-Men: Days Of Future Past which they travel to the past to avoid the destruction of mutant. They are going to the past, do some action in the hope they able to revamp the future.
If you have this kind of opportunity or at least you able to talk to your 10-years ago or 5-years ago version with limited time, what will you do?. I grew up with a lot of anxiety and fear of doing something. I know it is such a kind of unrealistic imagination, but if I have this chance, I want to tell my former-self some words.
1. Living In The Moment
I’m an overthinker.
I’m also a daydreamer.
As an adult, I learn how we think about the present and not fly over to the past or future. Because we can’t alter the things that already happened in the past, not also guarantee our future.
Until now, I always bounded with regret feeling with something that I’ve done or not done in the past. I wish I can expand my network during college time, so it can open more career opportunities. Or what if I say yes to my mom’s favor to attend music class, I bet at least I can play one musical instrument now.
With regards to the future, we may feel too anxious. At that point, we’re afraid to make a new point as we overthink about potential negative risks that we may experience in the future.
Or maybe, we feel temporarily successful in the present or able to make a new move then we may draw our thoughts to the future. Thinking about the happiness or excitement that stand upon us in the future. We are too excited about the future and neglecting our presence in the present time.
I will not say this to only my past-self but also my present-self. I still can’t avoid the act of overthinking even though I can diminish the past regret and trauma. But the possibility of future failure still haunts me, even they will give me a great value up ahead. At least if I try and fight for it.
Daydreaming about temporary success is somehow more toxic than overthinking. It not only diminishes our present focus but also leads us to another disenchantment in the future.
For example, there is a case where people successfully record their first ten transactions in their business. He imagines that if he can scale up their business they will get a certain amount of money. This thought continues to about what he will do with this money. His thought is lulled with potential excitement with the money that he will get in the future rather than what he needs to do to improve the business.
“Be present. Don’t feel restricted with the past mistake or anxiety about future”
is one statement that really hits me to maximize my effort in the current time to improve the future rather than wasting time thinking about something that probably not occur in the future or past that you can’t alter.
2. Past Doesn’t Define Your Present and Your Future
Looking back at my educational background, I was graduated with a Chemical Engineering degree but turns out I’m working for tech companies and never worked in the Chemical field after graduation. One of my friends and relatives told me that I waste my degree and 4 years of effort in university. But, I have more interest in the tech industry and the condition of the chemical industry back then is not in its golden time. I ignored my past degree and start from zero to go to new knowledge and professional area.
Most of the case, people who fell like they lack to don’t have specific experience to certain field or experience failure on that particular area, they have less confidence to do or try something new. It is nothing wrong if you want to stay on track that aligns with your past achievement or any of your background. But, along with my observation people try to restrict themself with their background so they hesitate to explore or open to new opportunities.
In the simple case of mine, I am really bad at the sport during school so I avoid any physical activities. So I dictate to myself that I’m not a sporty person hence I will not any enjoy sports. But as I grow older, I realize the impact of sport on health. So I omit this boundary and try to do that even though I am doing it badly.
I will say to my formel self
Ignore all of the boundaries that related to your past background. If you think you need to do it and good for your future, just try. You will not bring your previous identity in the future along with you forever.
Sometime to make a positive change, I need to step to the things that I may not ever experience or totally opposite to my past recognition.
3. Feel Grateful With Anything That You Didn’t Get
When I was in junior high school, I only have a few friends that I genuinely trust. In fact, the junior high school period is my least favorite era in my life so far. Deep inside, I feel disconnected from all of the school environment and not really comfortable. Even I got a mild level of a bully during this period. That’s why I really depend on my friends throughout this era.
I and my friend aimed to enter one of the most prestigious senior high schools in the city. But turns out, I failed and entered another school. I wasn’t disappointed because I fail to enter my desired school but I feel a burden because none of my friends went to the same school as me. I was afraid that I need to walk through this new life phase alone, without someone that I can rely on. I still remember back then I was crying because I thought I will be alone afterward.
But turns out, something magical exactly happens. I got way more friends compared to what I used to have. The environment is really different, I can easily connect with people in this school environment. I slowly expand my social skills throughout this period not only within the school environment but also got several connections outside.
There is a common quote
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one, which has been opened for us.”
– Helen Keller –
Thinking back again, I got a lot of positive value after my failure to enter high school. Not only it gave me good social gain but also it opens me to more opportunities with regards to the academic side. So I didn’t only get one but two or maybe more positive advantages by this condition. Until now, I feel really grateful for this.
I will tell my 14-years old self
“Don’t worry. Don’t be sad. You’re on the right track. Moreover, you are on the better path”
As I face other failures in this life, I always try to change my perspective which there will be something a lot better that can substitute this failure. Last year, I got layoff from my job. It’s kind of a big deal, especially for my parents. But when I implement this mindset, I even can convince my parents not to be sad.
Takeaway
It sounds so impossible for us to connect with our past version. But like the parents to their children, if there is any opportunity to this, there will be a lot of things that I want to share with him. But as we can’t go back and meet our past version of us, the things that I can do is only remind my present-self of all of the things that I want to tell him.
